Victoria

Graduation is coming up so although I took Victoria's graduation photos last fall for the yearbook, she wanted some more recent ones to put in her invitation letter. She is a beautiful girl and up for anything. We met at an old barn that looked like it could collapse on us at any time.

Kent had to work late so Ella had to tag along with me. She kept begging me to let her take a picture. I let her take one and when I got Victoria's invitation in the mail I laughed so hard because she sent out two pictures, one of which was taken by Ella!!! I guess I have a new sidekick!

Beautiful Erin

Erin is one of the most dedicated mothers I have ever met. She is an example to me of being an active part of your child's education, development and love. I am thankful to be her friend and honored for her to trust me with her maternity photos. I look at these pictures and part of me wished she and I were pregnant together like last time. I appreciate Erin letting me a part of this pregnancy. Good luck Erin, in the next few weeks, as your body gets ready to welcome another precious child of God.

Princess Movies

Tonight Ella and I were driving in the car when out of the blue she said, "Mom? Do princesses know they are in a movie?" I just love the thought process of little kids (most of the time).

Horse Lessons

Ella has always loved horses. For the last two years, if you ask her what she wants to be when she grows up she says, "A horse rider." I kept thinking, I want her to take horse lessons someday. Then I realized, what are we waiting for? Some good friends of ours have miniature horses that they have been so generous to let us use for lessons. They have one horse that doesn't get as much attention as their other horses so we've told Ella she gets to brush this horse and give it exercise. The next day Ella said to me, "I can't believe I get to have a horse as a best friend!"

Digging out the hoof
Learning to lead
Learning to harness the horse
Finally riding the horse! It made my heart swell to be able to make Ella's dreams come true. She has always loved horses and her face just beams as she soaks it all in. I have already been impressed with her determination to listen and learn. She doesn't shy away, she I am excited to see her as she continues.

Cannon's Car Seat

Although Cannon hasn't hit the weight limit, he definitely had outgrown his baby car seat because he just keeps getting longer and longer. I was putting it off because when I go into stores and other places, it was nice to just have his carrier to put him in instead of holding him all the time, but his poor legs were so squished and hung out so far that I knew it was time. We found this seat that faces backward and reclines, which was my biggest concern since he can't hold up his head. I can't help but laugh out loud when I look at this picture. What a cutie. I can almost see him as a little toddler here. Love him!

Seizure Activity

We knew it was just a matter of time, but it doesn't make it any easier. Since the EEG done last fall, the fact that Cannon was having seizures, whether we could see them physically or not, broke our hearts. Now that Cannon was sick and not sleeping, his threshold was low and the seizures presented themselves. Since then we have started an anti-seizure medication and have not seen any more seizures. He has been vomiting a lot and we are trying to decide if it is in association with the new medication or just a flu bug he's picked up.

I want to attach my journal entry that I wrote just after that experience:

April 26, 2011

It is now almost morning and I have yet to get to bed. Going to bed closer to dawn that sunset is a common occurrence for me but tonight was for a new reason- a reason I hoped would never come. I just finished using my stop watch on my iphone at 3:00 in the morning, timing my little Cannon. As I did that I was taken back. I flash to the last time I used my stop watch at 3:00 in the morning. Just the same as tonight, It was used was to time Cannon- but last time I was in my bath tub, 9 months pregnant, waiting anxiously for my precious little baby boy to be born. I was excitedly and calmly, timing my contractions. As they got closer and closer I knew the moment would be here soon. The moment I would meet this little person that we have worried so much about, prayed so hard for and already fallen in love with. I focused on each contraction, what it meant for my body and what it meant for my baby. Each tightening of my stomach was the bond of my baby and I working together toward the minute that he and I would meet. I remember specifically thinking that if he was strong enough to go through each contraction, then I could too. I know that thought helped me deliver him without the assistance of medication. Even before his birth, Cannon has been my inspiration, teaching me more about myself, and my inner strength, than I never knew I had.

Tonight, a little over a year later, with only the kitchen light on, my mom and I sit on my couch feeling helpless. We are using the phone to time what is the first noticeable sign of Cannon’s seizures. Our worst nightmare is now coming true. My poor baby only had, on average, 18 seconds between each seizure, each seizure lasting 20 seconds, for nearly 2 1/2 hours. I would say this coincidence with my phone might be considered bittersweet but mostly tonight it is just bitter. I am sorry to say but I am frustrated and sad. I want to take this from my baby. I want to suffer this for him so he can be free of his physical limitations and pain. I know angels attend him, but when I see his head jerking from side to side, out of his control, my heart begs to take this away from him. I see the frustration in his expression as he tries to get away from whatever is happening inside his head. My precious little one, I love you so. At this Easter time, I think of this scripture in Matthew, speaking of Christ, that says, “He went forward a little, and fell on the ground and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him. And he said, Father, all things are possible unto thee; take away this cup from me: nevertheless not what I will, but what thou wilt.” Of course I want this cup to be taken from you, Cannon, and from me. But if not. . . I will be here for you and you will continue to inspire me. Goodnight my angel.

Pictures of Cannon

These pictures are not "good pictures" by any means but they are some of my absolute favorite. One of the most treasured gifts of Cannon's birthday was our blog being made into a book. I am so thankful for that priceless present. Having the blog book of Cannon's first year inspired me to keep updating pictures and stories so I can't print a book each year. We have had so much fun looking back on all the memories we have made, and having it in a book makes it very easy to look at, as a family, often.

Poor baby threw up in his car seat. I have now learned to keep a spare outfit in the car at all times.
Ella and her friends wanted to play dress up with Cannon. He did NOT like wearing princess shoes. Haha!

Button Surgery

My nerves from his first surgery, last December, to this one vary drastically. This time around I was glad that Kent was able to get work off to come with me, I was glad that we have wonderful friends that kept Ella and Ethan home instead of needing to worry about them in the waiting room, and I was glad that Cannon wouldn't have any new incisions with this surgery. Initially we were told that Cannon would be released right about the operation, but just before the procedure, the doctors told us that they wanted to have Cannon admitted to the hospital overnight for observation. Menkes tends to scare doctors because they don't know what it is and from what they read about it, moments before they meet Cannon, they get scared and nervous. I appreciate their concern and I am thankful that, if needed, they will take extra care of him. Kent and I knew that Cannon was healthy (for Cannon) and that a hospital stay wouldn't benefit him but possible pose danger- with germs and possible diseases. Since Cannon did so well through the surgery and responded quickly after, the doctors agreed that he was strong enough to go home without a hospital stay. Good job, little fighter boy!

Right after surgery.

I'm very tired- I don't think I've ever looked so worn out. Please don't judge :)

San Diego

Our trip to San Diego, without the kids, was JUST WHAT WE NEEDED! We were lucky enough to have beautiful weather which made for a perfect weekend. We were worried about leaving because only days prior, Cannon had his first visible seizures (more on that in an upcoming post). My mom and dad, with an amazing support system, felt they would be just fine watching all three kids while we were gone. I am glad the tickets were already bought and paid for, making it very hard to back out. On our trip, Kent and I were able to reconnect and relax. We spent more time laughing and talking instead of worrying and stressing. Thank you all that helped make that possible for us. Life has been pretty trying at times and we feel undeserving of the wonderful weekend we had (but we hope to do it again soon!). The first two nights, we stayed down town in the Gas Lamp District. We loved walking the streets, listening to live music, eating amazing food and shopping the unique little shops.

This place was great! You order your food and then grill it yourself at a huge grill in the middle of the restaurant. Not all of this food was mine, we shared with several other tables. I promise!

I really wanted to go do some shopping at the markets in Tijuana. It was a quite a trip. When we crossed the border going to Mexico, we didn't realize there is a 3 hour line to get back into the U.S. Someone told us they would take us on a bus and get us through the line in less than 15 minutes. To make a long story short, we waited on the bus almost an hour. Our bus driver finally ditched the van and left us there because the traffic hadn't even moved. Kent led the way as we also ditched the van and made our way into the line. Needless to say, I was ready to get back and soak in the hot tub at the hotel.

Kent booked a dinner cruise for the evening. It was a lot of fun to get dressed up and do something out of the ordinary. We had a good time getting to know the other people at our table. We laughed and danced the night away!

The skyline from the boat.

The last night of our vacation we stayed in a hotel on the beach. This pier was a short walk from our room that had an ocean view. It was so peaceful to leave the door open all night to hear the waves of the ocean.

I was really excited because as we were standing on the pier, we saw four dolphins jumping the waves. It was incredible.

From the pool at our hotel, you could see and hear the ocean. There is no better way to unwind and let your worries melt away!When I saw this darling Fiji Yogurt shop, we just HAD to go there.

They had card games to play while you ate your yogurt. Super fun!

Are you seeing the trend that we really loved eating on this trip? This place had the best wings! No wonder Kent and I are on a diet now. HaHa!
Here we are in the cab, riding back to the airport. Happy and Happy.

Happy May Day

As long as I can remember, my mom has always wished me a Happy May Day. Ethan and Ella helped me make cookies for our neighbors because nothing says Happy May Day like a plate of spring shaped sugar cookies!