Tonight I'm sad. I'm sure I'll be better tomorrow, so just pretend you didn't read this post. Cannon has once again picked up a germ and is suffering from another upper respiratory infection. Kent left this afternoon to go to California for a continuing education course so with my parents being gone, Reagran has come over every second of her time off work to help me with everything. She has been my angel.
Without our wonderful Dr. Derek, may have been to the hospital by now. He has made it possible for us to do nebulizer treatments, steroids, antibiotics along with a suction machine and pure oxygen at home.
It's hard to know exactly how to keep him the most comfortable, while his head is dripping with sweat, his arms and legs are cold and need wrapped up.
My fears and emotions are so intensified when Bubba is sick. I hate to hear him struggle to breathe, I hate to see dark circles under his eyes in contrast to his pale skin. I hate to hear him cough and choke as he tries to swallow down the mucus in his throat. I hate the panic in his eye when he can't get enough air. My soul aches tonight as I think of what the next few years are going to bring, what the rest of my life will be like because of Menkes. Menkes is a horrible disease. I hate that it exists. My heart hurts for those precious little boys that are in the hospital tonight and I am thankful for the blessing I have of being home in my own bed, with little bubba boy. I am thankful for good friends that stopped by with Teriyaki take-out for lunch and brought dinner over and spent time sitting with me, while lifting my spirits. I will go (hopefully) get some sleep now and I will feel better in the morning, but just tonight I am sad.
A couple nights ago I was watching the women of SNL and saw an old "Debbie Downer" clip. In fear of being known as Debbie Downer, I thought I'd end on a happier note.
Today was picture day at Ella's school and I just love this picture I snapped with my cell phone for Kent to see her. She stretched out across the furniture to give her best pose. Love that girl!
Also, I just love how much Ethan and Ella adore Cannon. I had to snap a picture of Ethan taking good care of Bubba in the Tubba (...just go with it, ok?).
Also, yes, I am using my cell phone for pictures now even when I'm at home. :(
Frownie face? I guess I am a Debbie Downer.
7 comments:
Natalie-you have every right to be the occasional Debbie Downer, but somehow in your sadness, you still have so much strength and love. You are such a great example. I hope little Bubba gets rid of that nasty cold soon!
You have every right to feel sad at times. Don't ever feel bad about it! I love you and I wish I could have been with you last night. My prayers are always including you and your family.
Our prayers are with you. Hearts have great capacity, but Bubba's situation hurts beyond words.
Debbie Downer, you still make me smile with your posts. I sure hope our conversation last night didn't add to your sadness. I'm sorry you are having to deal with this trial in your life. I hope you know you are not alone in your sadness.
I love you
You are amazing. Through all you trials and saddness you are still the giant of serving others. You continue to serve Cannon, your family and a million other people. We love you eternally.
So sad right now wish you were here. We will help take care of you and kids. You are an amazing girl its ok to have a few Debbie Downer moments. I love that in your hardest times you always find something to be grateful for or things that make us smile. Give Cannon love for us you will be here soon. And of course Ethan and Ella. Hang in there. We love you.
Post a Comment