Sandy Hook Elementary- Behold Your Little Ones

I sit at my computer with a lump in my throat, tears in my eyes and an ache in my heart that I know pales in comparison to what the families touched by the tragic events of the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting in Connecticut.  I've known that I needed to put something here in writing about what happened and my personal reaction to it so my kids can read about it someday.  Three days after the event that I still haven't told my children about and don't see the need right now because that is a fear, a reality, that they don't need at their age.  Saying that they don't need to hear about something that evil is one thing and knowing that children their same ages not only heard about it, but they witnessed it at that young age, they experienced it. It brings so many emotions to the surface as I think about the gravity of it.  When I heard about it I was sickened. Later I turned on the news and watched the events unfold on my own and tears rushed down my face as I clung to Cannon and wishing my kids were home with me and not at school. 

Before events at the school

At some point before he went to the school, investigators believe Adam Lanza, 20 killed his mother, Nancy Lanza. He then took her guns and made his way to the elementary school wearing black fatigues and a military vest, according to a law enforcement official.

After 9:00 a.m.

Classes were under way at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Connecticut. Approximately 700 students were present at the school.

Earlier this year, the school principal, Dawn Lafferty Hochsprung, ordered a new security system installed that requires visitors to be visibly identified and buzzed in. As part of the security system, the school locked its doors each day at 9:30 a.m.

It is not clear whether the suspect, Adam Lanza, 20, entered the school before or after 9:30 a.m.

Lanza forced his way into the school, law enforcement officials said. It is unclear how or whether Lanza used weapons to do it.

About 9:30 a.m.

At about 9:30 a.m., as announcements were read over the loudspeaker to the students, shots rang out.

Students described being ushered into bathrooms and closets by teachers after hearing the first shots.

One parent who was at the school in a meeting with Hochsprung, the school's psychologist, Mary Sherlach, and the vice principal said she heard a "pop, pop, pop."

All three left the room and went into the hall to see what was happening. The parent ducked under the table and called 911. "I cowered," the parent told CNN. The gunman "must have shot a hundred rounds."

All three -- the principal, vice principal and the school psychologist -- were shot by the gunman. Hochsprung and Sherlach died at the scene. The vice principal was wounded.

Next, Lanza shot up two classrooms of kindergartners and first-graders, police said. Twenty students ages 6 and 7 were killed. Four other adults were also killed.

At the police station, dispatchers began to take calls from inside the school. Authorities say the first emergency call about the shooting came in at "approximately" 9:30 a.m.

"Sandy Hook school. Caller is indicating she thinks someone is shooting in the building," a dispatcher told fire and medical personnel, according to 911 tapes.

9:50 a.m.

Police and other first responders arrived on scene. By this time, police say the gunman was dead, though the exact timing is unclear.

Police report that no law enforcement officers discharged their weapons at any point. The gunman likely took his own life, police said.

Authorities found three guns next to Lanza's body in one of the classrooms, a law enforcement source told CNN. All three -- a semi-automatic .223-caliber rifle made by Bushmaster and two pistols made by Glock and Sig Sauer -- were owned by Lanza's mother, a source told CNN.

Police secured the building, ensuring no other shooters were on site. Police then escorted students and faculty out of the building to a nearby firehouse. As reports of the shooting made their way around town, frantic parents descended on the firehouse where the children had been taken.

By nightfall, the firehouse became a gathering point for parents and family members whose loved ones would never walk out of the school.

The disclosure on Sunday sent chills throughout this picturesque New England community as families sought to comfort each other during church services and vigils devoted to impossible questions like that of a 6 year-old girl who asked her mother: "The little children, are they with the angels?"  -New York Daily News

 All I could do was think about these victims, 20 of them between the ages of 5 and 10 years old.   The looks on their faces as they saw a masked gunman in their school, coming toward them shooting and killing their friends.  I think of Ethan and Ella's squishy cheeks and big eyes and wonder how anyone could do something so horrific to little angels like these.  

The count down for me to pick Ethan and Ella up after school could not come fast enough.  I drove to pick them up and when I saw them walking down the sidewalk I couldn't stay in my car another minute and I ran to them, hugging and kissing them.  I let the tears flow as my heart was swelling with gratitude that my children were safe, and swelling with sorrow for those parents that did not get the chance to see their children come home from school. 

When Ethan and Ella asked why I was crying all I said was, "I am so lucky to have you."  

When a tragedy happens it is easy to get discouraged, to be scared, to be upset.  I have found peace in knowing that Heavenly Father does not leave His children alone.  I cannot imagine what the thoughts were of these sweet innocent children in their last moments but I have to believe that Heavenly Father was with them.  I wish there was a way to take away things like this but since that is a wish that will not come, I will hold on to the fact that I know that life is eternal and that these children will be reunited with their parents.  

A man that knows the heartache of losing a child said, “In my leisure moments I have meditated upon the subject, and asked the question, why it is that infants, innocent children, are taken away from us, especially those that seem to be the most intelligent and interesting. . . . The Lord takes many away even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again. . . . All children are redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ, and the moment that children leave this world, they are taken to the bosom of Abraham. The only difference between the old and young dying is, one lives longer in heaven and eternal light and glory than the other, and is freed a little sooner from this miserable wicked world.”  -Joseph Smith

Only 10 days before Christmas

twas' 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38

when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate.

their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.

they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.

they were filled with such joy, they didn't know what to say.

they remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.

"where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.

"this is heaven." declared a small boy. "we're spending Christmas at God's house."

when what to their wondering eyes did appear,

but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.

He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.

then He opened His arms and He called them by name.

and in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring

those children all flew into the arms of their King

and as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,

one small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face.

and as if He could read all the questions she had

He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad."

then He looked down on earth, the world far below

He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe

then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,

"Let My power and presence re-enter this land!"

"may this country be delivered from the hands of fools"

"I'm taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools!"

then He and the children stood up without a sound.

"come now my children, let me show you around."

excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.

all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.

and i heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,

"in the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT."

Written by Cameo Smith, Mt. Wolf, PA