Cherish the Season

I chose these words for our Christmas card because each Christmas we live as though it will be our last with Cannon.  With recent events it has been reminded to me that I am not promised another Christmas with any one of my children or family members or friends.  My wish is that we can all truly cherish this season and those around us.  Due to weather and Cannon's health the last couple of weeks, we were not planning on going to Utah for Christmas but yesterday we decided we want to be with family so we are hitting the road this afternoon.  Merry Christmas to you all and know that we cherish your friendships.

Sandy Hook Elementary- Behold Your Little Ones

I sit at my computer with a lump in my throat, tears in my eyes and an ache in my heart that I know pales in comparison to what the families touched by the tragic events of the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting in Connecticut.  I've known that I needed to put something here in writing about what happened and my personal reaction to it so my kids can read about it someday.  Three days after the event that I still haven't told my children about and don't see the need right now because that is a fear, a reality, that they don't need at their age.  Saying that they don't need to hear about something that evil is one thing and knowing that children their same ages not only heard about it, but they witnessed it at that young age, they experienced it. It brings so many emotions to the surface as I think about the gravity of it.  When I heard about it I was sickened. Later I turned on the news and watched the events unfold on my own and tears rushed down my face as I clung to Cannon and wishing my kids were home with me and not at school. 

Before events at the school

At some point before he went to the school, investigators believe Adam Lanza, 20 killed his mother, Nancy Lanza. He then took her guns and made his way to the elementary school wearing black fatigues and a military vest, according to a law enforcement official.

After 9:00 a.m.

Classes were under way at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Connecticut. Approximately 700 students were present at the school.

Earlier this year, the school principal, Dawn Lafferty Hochsprung, ordered a new security system installed that requires visitors to be visibly identified and buzzed in. As part of the security system, the school locked its doors each day at 9:30 a.m.

It is not clear whether the suspect, Adam Lanza, 20, entered the school before or after 9:30 a.m.

Lanza forced his way into the school, law enforcement officials said. It is unclear how or whether Lanza used weapons to do it.

About 9:30 a.m.

At about 9:30 a.m., as announcements were read over the loudspeaker to the students, shots rang out.

Students described being ushered into bathrooms and closets by teachers after hearing the first shots.

One parent who was at the school in a meeting with Hochsprung, the school's psychologist, Mary Sherlach, and the vice principal said she heard a "pop, pop, pop."

All three left the room and went into the hall to see what was happening. The parent ducked under the table and called 911. "I cowered," the parent told CNN. The gunman "must have shot a hundred rounds."

All three -- the principal, vice principal and the school psychologist -- were shot by the gunman. Hochsprung and Sherlach died at the scene. The vice principal was wounded.

Next, Lanza shot up two classrooms of kindergartners and first-graders, police said. Twenty students ages 6 and 7 were killed. Four other adults were also killed.

At the police station, dispatchers began to take calls from inside the school. Authorities say the first emergency call about the shooting came in at "approximately" 9:30 a.m.

"Sandy Hook school. Caller is indicating she thinks someone is shooting in the building," a dispatcher told fire and medical personnel, according to 911 tapes.

9:50 a.m.

Police and other first responders arrived on scene. By this time, police say the gunman was dead, though the exact timing is unclear.

Police report that no law enforcement officers discharged their weapons at any point. The gunman likely took his own life, police said.

Authorities found three guns next to Lanza's body in one of the classrooms, a law enforcement source told CNN. All three -- a semi-automatic .223-caliber rifle made by Bushmaster and two pistols made by Glock and Sig Sauer -- were owned by Lanza's mother, a source told CNN.

Police secured the building, ensuring no other shooters were on site. Police then escorted students and faculty out of the building to a nearby firehouse. As reports of the shooting made their way around town, frantic parents descended on the firehouse where the children had been taken.

By nightfall, the firehouse became a gathering point for parents and family members whose loved ones would never walk out of the school.

The disclosure on Sunday sent chills throughout this picturesque New England community as families sought to comfort each other during church services and vigils devoted to impossible questions like that of a 6 year-old girl who asked her mother: "The little children, are they with the angels?"  -New York Daily News

 All I could do was think about these victims, 20 of them between the ages of 5 and 10 years old.   The looks on their faces as they saw a masked gunman in their school, coming toward them shooting and killing their friends.  I think of Ethan and Ella's squishy cheeks and big eyes and wonder how anyone could do something so horrific to little angels like these.  

The count down for me to pick Ethan and Ella up after school could not come fast enough.  I drove to pick them up and when I saw them walking down the sidewalk I couldn't stay in my car another minute and I ran to them, hugging and kissing them.  I let the tears flow as my heart was swelling with gratitude that my children were safe, and swelling with sorrow for those parents that did not get the chance to see their children come home from school. 

When Ethan and Ella asked why I was crying all I said was, "I am so lucky to have you."  

When a tragedy happens it is easy to get discouraged, to be scared, to be upset.  I have found peace in knowing that Heavenly Father does not leave His children alone.  I cannot imagine what the thoughts were of these sweet innocent children in their last moments but I have to believe that Heavenly Father was with them.  I wish there was a way to take away things like this but since that is a wish that will not come, I will hold on to the fact that I know that life is eternal and that these children will be reunited with their parents.  

A man that knows the heartache of losing a child said, “In my leisure moments I have meditated upon the subject, and asked the question, why it is that infants, innocent children, are taken away from us, especially those that seem to be the most intelligent and interesting. . . . The Lord takes many away even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again. . . . All children are redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ, and the moment that children leave this world, they are taken to the bosom of Abraham. The only difference between the old and young dying is, one lives longer in heaven and eternal light and glory than the other, and is freed a little sooner from this miserable wicked world.”  -Joseph Smith

Only 10 days before Christmas

twas' 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38

when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate.

their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.

they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.

they were filled with such joy, they didn't know what to say.

they remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.

"where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.

"this is heaven." declared a small boy. "we're spending Christmas at God's house."

when what to their wondering eyes did appear,

but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.

He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.

then He opened His arms and He called them by name.

and in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring

those children all flew into the arms of their King

and as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,

one small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face.

and as if He could read all the questions she had

He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad."

then He looked down on earth, the world far below

He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe

then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,

"Let My power and presence re-enter this land!"

"may this country be delivered from the hands of fools"

"I'm taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools!"

then He and the children stood up without a sound.

"come now my children, let me show you around."

excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.

all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.

and i heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,

"in the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT."

Written by Cameo Smith, Mt. Wolf, PA

Time Out for Girls (for Women)

This post was supposed to show up months ago but it is just posting now so maybe there is something that is needed to be reminded to someone.  Instead of putting it in chronological order, I am going to leave it here for now.

A few months ago some of my friends were talking about going to Spokane to attend Time Out for Women for the weekend. I have never had the opportunity to go and have always wanted to, but this year wasn't going to be easy for me to leave Kent with all three kids so I decided "a time and a season" would come into play and I would have my time at a later date. Since then I have been called into the Young Women's presidency and the Young Women of our ward were making a trip to Time Out for Girl's and needed the leaders to carpool them. Since we were just going for the day, and not overnight, it worked out that I could make it happen. When my alarm went off at 4 in the morning, I wasn't sure how badly I wanted to go. We met up with the girls at the church and caravanned in three cars on the 3 hour drive to Spokane. Once we got the girls all settled in to Time out for Girls, the ushers let us go into Time Out for Women. It was incredible. I loved every second of it. Sitting in a concert hall FULL of women that are all facing their own personal struggles and having the same faith that it will all be ok, gave me the strength and uplift that I needed to continue on with my life wanting to be a better mother, wife, friend, daughter, etc. Hilary Weeks was the main Presenter and she sang songs and spoke throughout the event. It was fun to feel like we were at a mini concert and then be spiritually fed in between songs. Here are some highlights of the notes I took and the lessons I learned.

Chris Williams spoke to us of a very personal story that changed his life forever. Watch this video to see what happened to him and his family: "Forgiveness: My Burden Was Made Light"

He talked about the first thought that came into his mind when they had been hit was "Let it go" He knew that Christ would heal the hurt if Chris would exercise faith in Him. He learned about repentance being a new perspective- a fresh view- Heavenly Father's view. Chris has developed an ever deeper sense of love for others, he spoke of the scriptures telling us to "Put on the armor of God" and defend ourselves with the sword of love. Pierce the adversary with the sword of love and you will be doing the Lord's work. Chris tells us that we are writing our own books every day. He encourages us to make our book like that of the Book of Mormon, another testament of Jesus Christ. Make our lives a testament of Jesus Christ.

My thoughts:

~During this talk was that nothing can be so impossible that I could not pray to forgive others. I learned that with the trial that I am facing I can either become bitter and cold or I could accept a new perspective, an eternal perspective, and I can be a testament to the plan of salvation and the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Hillary Weeks: shared a story of her going out to eat with her daughter who was 9 years old at the time (Ethan's age). Her daughter was telling her about what happened that day at school with macaroni and cheese oozing out of the corners of her mouth and she laughed and smiled. Hilary said, we as parents, have received a wonderful gift to be able to know our children while they are children. We will all get the opportunity to spend eternity with our children (and other people's children) as adults but only we get to spend these few sacred years knowing them as little children. She sang this song called "Stand Still" which touched me so deeply I had to remind myself not to breathe through it so it wouldn't turn into the ugly cry. Hilary has been studying thoughts for the last few years and decided to test a theory about negative thoughts. She heard that on average we think over 300 negative thoughts a day. She bought a clicker and clicked every time she had a negative thought. By the end of the week she could literally feel herself being very depressed and grumpy. She was interested in the power her negative thoughts had on her physically and wanted to know if focusing on positive thoughts would give her the opposite result. She started clicking with each positive thought. She took it with her on the treadmill and clicked as she encouraged herself to keep running. She said she ran faster and further than she ever had. (She then told us not to get too excited because it was only a mile.) She told us about a website called: billionclicks.org and she then sang the song called "That's Who I Am"

My thoughts:

~If I focus on the positive things in my life and make sure to be grateful then I will see more of the blessings in my life and hopefully not have time to think of the things that are frustrating and cut out my selfish thoughts. I realized the importance of thoughts and self encouragement is a powerful thing.

Kris Belcher:  Kris was one of my favorite speakers because she was hilarious!  She has battled cancer which has taken her vision from her.  On a trip with some friends, they were riding ATV's on a ridge in Southern Utah.  Her friend told her she would let Kris drive.  Kris started driving as her friend directed her "to the left, to the right".  After awhile of driving, Kris pulled over to give the wheel back to her friend.  "You are not done yet.  You can do this."  Those words of encouragement gave her the strength to continue on this path that scared her, but she trusted her friend would not let her crash.  She used this example to parallel this experience with our journey through life as mothers.  Let Heavenly Father be our vision and our guide as we tackle the sometimes scary events that come with raising children.  She continued to warn us about not just going through the motions of things.  Since her sight has been taken, her sense of hearing has been increased. She told her teenage son to go take a shower.  He went in the bathroom but did not get in, she could tell because the sound of the water hitting the ground never changed.  She opened the door and saw him standing in their fully clothed, listening to his earphones.  If we just go through the motions, things will not get done properly.  "Get in the water" as in the living water of Christ.  Read the scriptures and learn from them how to be a better mother.  LISTEN!! DO NOT GIVE UP!  "Jump.  Listen.  Endure"


Michael Wilcox: has had a lot of world traveling experience and has been a collector of many beautiful things.  He talked about these vessels he collects and then related them to the vessels (ourselves) we take to heaven.  He made point of five things that we should be filling up these vessels with:
1. Beauty and wonders: Enjoy the beauty of the earth.
2. Growth and recognition:
3. Refinement
4. Gratitude and Adoration: With these he gave an example of a day that all he had to eat was yogurt while serving his mission.  He remembered feeling sorry for himself that he didn't have more to eat.  As he prayed to bless his food, he felt the Lord reminding him of ALL the blessings he has AND this yogurt. He remembered the freedom he enjoys AND this yogurt.  He remembered the gospel he partakes of freely AND his yogurt, he remembers his health to enjoy another day AND his yogurt and so on.  Keep it all in perspective.
5. Life Experience: Gather life experiences: We must experience good and bad. Eccl: season under heaven.  Time and place for everything  He asked "Why do we have to lose the things we love?"  His response from the Spirit is, "That is how we learn how much we love.  We learn how to value things.  Don't always be sad.  I will turn the bad to good."

My thoughts:  I must remember that although I am facing an incredibly tough trial in my life right now, it is not to keep me down and to keep me from experiencing joy, it is to teach me to look for the beauty and the wonder in the ordinary things that really are extraordinary (it reminds me of the Sarah McLaghlin song: 'Ordinary Miracles').  These experiences are to help me grow to become the woman I am, a daughter of a Heavenly Father.  I am to be polished and refined as I make myself shine to bring others unto Christ.  I will learn to be thankful for these blessings and realize they are not trials- but these most amazing experiences, lessons, and blessings that I never knew I needed.  "This is how I learn to love.  This is how I learn to value things.  I won't always be sad.  He will turn the bad to good." He already has.

Hillary Weeks sang: "This is Not Your Home"
I had heard this song before Time Out For Women, but I guess I never understood the meaning,  She explained that this is on the topic of sorrow and we are not to house despair but look upward.

She talked about the creation of the song "Living Proof" and the journey she went through in order to receive inspiration to write it.  A line that she said stuck with me, she said, "Was that song life changing? No.  Was it life changing? Yes."  I want to remind myself of that. My requests to my Father in Heaven are not life threatening but with the comfort and answers I receive, I know they are life changing.

Christmas Lights- Griswold Style

So I have an idea what Clark Griswold feels like since I have been on the roof at least 10 times situating lights and plugs and extension cords. I FINALLY got it all completed shining. I climbed down from the ladder and one of the strands shorted out on me. haha. Hurry home Kent :)